As the final passages of this chapter are unfolding before my eye, I am humbled by the hardness and beauty that is behind me. Saying goodbye to the demons in my head, breaking free from the chains of should have’s and should do’s. We’re moving into uncertain territory.
These wings sure do look nice though.
I take a deep breath
And one last look at the grooves in these floors
Cut by so many footsteps trapesing back and forth from the kitchen to the front porch.
The basement door that sticks in the summer time,
The hole in the dining room floor where the bugs come in,
The rusty pipes in the bathroom,
The energy of wars fought but never won, playing on repeat, echoing through the voices of players that switch positions over and over again through all time.
The gentle yearning for healing … and more.
The air is dirty and moist even though I just cleaned every floor space on my hands and knees.
I’m sad
And grateful.
For every exchange that took place, every circumstance that was faced,
We are all the better for it…
I know I left this place better than when I found it and now it’s time for the next adventure.
For me to learn how to trust again. A true test of surrendering to the beauty of the unknown.
I already feel caught between this breath and your hands. It feels so amazing.
I’m curious where my higher self will take me, as my ego relaxes, up for the task. I feel the world rushing in toward me as I am rushing toward it… I’m ready to feel everything. The joy, the pain, the rush, the destruction. I am ready to be taken … and brought to my knees.
Milwaukee. A city of many layers. There’s something so magnetic about you. I love searching through all your dark corners and memorizing the foot paths around the river. I love the people of all stratosphere. It’s a great training grounds for becoming. It’s a place where you can step into your own and learn to fly. I love all the green spaces here and all the striving to be better. I am going to miss this city.
In preparing for departure, I was gifted tokens by friends to help me on the journey.
A necklace with the aquarian symbol to announce who I am before I speak,
A deck of cards because, “If you’re ever lost in the woods, just start playing solitaire and before you know it someone will be looking over your shoulder telling you what to do next.”
A coin to flip to decide which way to turn when I’m not sure,
And the book “Warrior of the Light” by Paulo Coelho.
And today, the 31st of March, I set on my way.
This road trip is imbued with many intentions and manifestations. Firstly, to close a chapter that’s been over for a while. Second, to get so rest and rejuvenation from all the work of last year. All year I was holding space for so many different truths and stories while going through my own rebirthing process. I hope to gain a deeper perspective on what’s important in life and what I want to focus on moving forward. I want to see this beautiful country. Look for land to buy/build on… etc. See friends old and new. Plant seeds. Feel alive. Drive and drive and drive.
